The Romance Shop

24 07 2012

I will admit it, this single mom is living her non- existent sex life vicariously through the new Shades of Grey series.  I completely understand now why kids are complaining about their moms not having dinner on the table at the usual time or that their lunches once full of fresh fruit and vegetables have been reduced to a granola bar and a juice box.  Hiding behind the toaster in my kitchen is one of the three books in this ever so popular series. I will not lie. My kids have had to ask me questions one, two and three times before they catch my attention because I am intensely reading about Christian and Ana and am completely captivated by what is going to happen next.  I will honestly never be able to look at a neck tie the same way and handcuffs will no longer take my mind to the thought of someone being arrested.

There are apparatuses described in this series that I never knew existed and honestly as I had always thought of myself as a prude never cared to know about. This series has changed all that. I am intrigued by what lies behind the doors of “The Romance Shop”.  I used to think that people would judge you if they knew you had shopped in a “sex” shop but I no longer feel that way. I was nervous approaching the store. I was a little worried that my sons lacrosse coaches wife or one of my sons friends moms might just happen to be downtown and see me  but then I remembered that it was the lacrosse coaches wife that first loaned me the book and that I had passed it on to other moms on the team.

 Once through the doors, Linda the owner of “The Romance Shop” and her staff made me feel so comfortable. You do not feel embarrassed or ashamed to there.  I felt at ease meandering though the store and will admit that at first I was overwhelmed by all of the choices one has to enhance their sex life.  Asking the first question was the hardest (I will only share with my bff’s what that was but I know understand how a certain apparatus will increase a climax in the opposite sex- email me if you want to know what it was!!!) and once that was over I asked questions in rapid succession. I am sure once I left the store that there was many a joke cracked about the rookie that ventured in that morning.

I was absolutely ecstatic to discover the Christian and Ana packages that very closely resemble the box of goodies that Ana presents to Christian as a gift in book #??( You will have to pick up your copy to find out. )  What a great gift for a husband to give to his wife!! I can guarantee that any woman who has ventured on to reading book number two “ Fifty Shades Darker” will not only appreciate that her husband is paying attention to what she is reading but secretly has been hoping that her husband would express a little more “Christian” in the bedroom.

If you decide to venture beyond the contents of the “box”, Linda and the staff at the Romance shop are the bedroom experts who will happily assist you.


The Romance Shop is located at 2018 Douglas St  in downtown Victoria,  and 89 Cliffe Ave in Courtenay



The Scale

18 07 2012


I honest to god have a love hate relationship with my scale. Right now there is a whole lot of hate going on. I don’t weigh myself every day anymore. I used to be completely obsessed with it but now I try to only step on the scale a couple times a week. I judge if it is a weigh in day by how I think my abs look. For instance this morning I took a look and thought that they looked pretty good. Not sure why I felt that way( lol) because I have not done an ab workout in a week or so but perhaps I thought that the ab fairy had paid me a visit in the middle of the night and granted my wish for decent abs.

I went through the regular routine, go to the bathroom, take off all my clothes including my hair elastic because they have to weigh at least an ounce. I stepped on the scale with my eyes closed, took a deep breath and opened my eye lids when approx 3 seconds had gone by. I was amazed and excited. The scale was reporting a number that I was ecstatic about. It meant that I had lost the 7 of the 8 pounds I wanted to lose. Immediately I was thinking about all of the extra choices I had in my wardrobe and how proud I was for not eating that chocolate and turning down Dairy Queen when my daughter asked me if I wanted her to bring me anything back. Then, the worst thing that could ever happen, happened. I looked down at the screen to confirm my great weight loss feat when all of a sudden ERROR flashed on the screen. #@###$$%%, way to burst my bubble

I swear ( and I did in my head a ton at the moment ) neither of my children had better ask me do anything for them in the next hour and my kitchen had better be the way I left it when I went to bed or I will probably lose it. If the weight loss had been a reality my kids could have probably asked me to almost anything and I would have agreed. “What you want to see Niagara Falls? “ Pack your bags we are leaving in an hour”!

I repeated the routine again this time with my blood pressure elevated (does that add weight?) to find that my weight was exactly the same as it was last time had stepped on the scale. There is nothing better to ruin the start of the day than to see that you had not lost any of the weight you so want to magically to melt away. How seriously had I not lost an ounce?? I really have been trying. I have been resisting my candy stash only having one or two of my fav treats instead of the entire box full like I normally would. I do exercises while I brush my teeth and fix my hair. I honestly think about doing a full work out at least 2-3 times a day.

What happened to the days where my clothes didn’t fit properly because I was too small and had to have everything taken in? Oh yes, marriage, pregnancies and turning 40!!. Why does losing weight have to include bending and twisting my body in ways that just aren’t natural? Why in order to burn calories do you have to sweat? I hate feeling all hot and sticky and spend most of my workout thinking about how gross I feel rather than the calories I am burning.

I am always looking for ways to burn extra calories throughout the day so I did a goggle search to see what new ways I could find. I found out that making out with someone for 20 minutes can burn 100 calories, talking on the phone for 55 minutes can burn 50 calories and a brisk walk with your dog for an hour burns 200 calories. Basically this single woman with no dog and friends who want to text rather than talk is screwed.

I have been putting this off as long as I can. I am actually going to get up out of bed and throw in an exercise dvd and work out. If any of my friends want to call me to actually talk on the phone I am busy for the next 16 minutes!!!

Lemonade Stand

16 07 2012

Mom,” we want to do a lemonade stand” is what my son hollered at me yesterday. We want to sell lemonade and ice tea up at the corner. “Sure” I said. My ex husband and I are both business people so it seemed natural to me for our son to what to have a business of his own.  My son and his friends made a list of supplies, Ice tea mix, lemonade mix, water, ice, cups jugs, table, money to make change and a cooler.

When I pulled out the first jug (a Montreal Canadiens one that is one of my pride possessions) one of the boys remarked that he wasn’t sure that we should use that jug as he didn’t know too many HABS fans. I gave him a glare (I’m a diehard HABS fan) and pulled out a Canucks one as well and he said we could use the HABS jug as long as they could use the Canucks one as well.

My son was elected to make the sign as he was voted the most artistic out of the 3 boys who were excited about their new venture. While producing the sign my son yelled to me “hey mom, how much do you think we could charge if we offered it with vodka?”  I laughed out loud (lol) at  this and explained that although it was an ingenious idea that there were liquor laws and that I could quite possibly go to jail for allowing my 13 year old son and his friends to sell alcoholic drinks on the corner in our quiet suburban neighbourhood.

The poster advertising their choice of drinks $1 each and $.50 for a refill was attached to the power pole at the corner of the street. I was excited for them. It was a hot day and I thought that they would get a good lesson on business. They took the drinks and all the supplies and headed to their corner.

It was a very hot day and they are all very smart young men.  The road connected to our cul de sac heads down to a very popular city lake and the road was busy with people walking down to the trail that borders the lake. The boys were walking up to people on their walk and handing them free cups of water and telling them to come have a glass of lemonade on their way back. It actually worked. They had many people purchase a glass on their way home.

They met two 19 year old young men visiting our city from Utah who were here with the Mormon Church (for 2 years) to spread their belief.  My son said that he was amazed at how hard of a job they had going from door to door trying to introduce people to their faith. He said the boys experienced doors being slammed in their faces, if people came to the door at all. It was a good lesson to the boys. My son and his friends said that it taught them that you if you believe in something strong enough that you will never give up and you are prepared to deal with all of the obstacles in the way.  They entertained the two young men even letting them ride their long boards and tried to give them a free glass of lemonade but the boys insisted that they pay something so they agreed to 2 glasses for $1. My son brought home not only a pamphlet but the entire Mormon book and he wants to keep it as a memory of his experience.

The boys were visited by motorists passing by, neighbours we knew and neighbours we didnt’( but my son knows now).  At the end of the evening I went to check on them. They had made 25.00 and they were sitting on the ground surrounded by 6 young ladies having a fabulous time.  It was a very successful first day in business.   Aw to be a kid again!!!

Magic Mike

14 07 2012

Magic Mike.

Magic Mike

14 07 2012

Last night a group of friends and I went out to dinner before heading to the movie of the summer “Magic Mike”. Dinner was a great time as it always is when you get together with good group of ladies however I noticed that our ordering habits have changed. Gone are the days of ordering an appetizer and a meal. Everyone forgo’d the appetizer and most shared meals using “we want to have popcorn at the theatre tonight. When we were young if you didn’t order an appetizer or dessert it meant that it wasn’t in the budget but last night meant that we are watching our calories because we have hit our 40’s and still want our butts to fit in the seats the next time we visit the theatre. We did have one younger gal with us who was pregnant and so when she ordered the cheesecake we all rallied around her justifying it by saying that it was for the baby and that the cheese in the cheesecake and the fresh strawberries on the side covered two major food groups

I normally would never have considered attending a movie like Magic Mike because I would have thought about whether my husband would be comfortable with me going to a movie based on male strippers but being single I do not have to take that into consideration. I said yes immediately when I was asked to go for dinner and to the movie. Never ever in a million years would I have thought that I would receive the reaction that I did from my son.  When he asked what movie I was going to I was completely honest and he said but you are a mom? Moms don’t go to movies about male strippers. Then he asked me to please not tell any of his friends because that would be embarrassing, News Flash kiddo “your friend’s moms were sitting beside me in the theatre.

 I enjoyed watching the people around me in the theatre. The|”Oh Yes” that was exclaimed the second Channing Tatum hit the screen made almost everyone laugh out loud (or lol for your younger folk) , there were people covering their faces and peeking from behind their fingers( I’ll admit I was one of them in a few of the scenes). There was the lone male ( who wins boyfriend of the year award for not walking out) who sat with his arms crossed the entire time pissed off that he had been tricked into coming to a movie that I’m sure the thought was a documentary about Michael Jordan. That’s what you get for going away to the oilfields to work to rake in the dough-you miss all the movie hype.

Women are much more vocal in a theatre when they are not accompanied my men. I laughed at each “ “oh my god” ( OMG) and “ did you see that” that was exclaimed loudly by many of the women around me. Some women had even smuggled in alcohol. I am not sure if it was to enhance their experience or to help with the shock of seeing a man that still had their abs and tight butts.

I do however, think that the movie theatres completely missed the boat on the Magic Mike Movie. If I was running the theatres I would have transformed the lobby of the theater into a night club while, the crowd, of unsuspecting women were inside being mesmerized by the mostly naked hard bodies flaunting their bodies on the screen. I would have treated it like ladies nights back in the day when the clubs would have male strippers come in for a couple hours and then allow men in for a reduced cover charge where they would be prayed on by women who were all hot and bothered after the show (I am speaking purely on what I was told by my friends who would dare participate in such an event).  I think the theatres would make a killing if they let men in 20 minutes before the movie was out and made the lobby into a temporary night club. They could have a back door exit for those women who wanted to get home to their husbands before their amorous mood wore off.

Magic Mike is definitely an Academy Awards contender if they add categories for “ Best Abs” and “ the Best Butt” award. Until then it a very good distraction and a fun activity to do with your best girl friends.

Internet Dating

8 07 2012

Internet Dating.

Internet Dating

8 07 2012

I could not sleep last night so I was looking at my email and decided to peruse some of the online dating sites that send me umpteen messages a day promising me a perfect match to see what men looking for love actually said about themselves.

 Seriously guys, if I were looking for a date I certainly would not be sending an email or a wink” to the shirtless overweight guy who took his picture with his phone via his bathroom mirror and who posted his online name as “ islandbambam” , ballawax or Fluffyguy. The thoughts that went through my mind while reading those names made me cringe.

 I was shocked at how many of the opposite sex posted pictures of themselves in costumes. If I were looking for a mate (and I’m not so don’t try setting me up with all of your bachelor friends) I would want to know about the person not what they look like as a character from Planet of the Apes or Scooby Doo. It had me imagining them on a coffee date with someone who decided to give them a chance ordering banana’s or Scooby snacks. I laughed out loud at grandpa who was trying to tell the online dating world that he was 48 when it was obvious that he was in his 70’s.

Tell the truth please. If you are 5’9 say you are 5’9 and not 6 feet and not justify it by saying you were wearing lifts the day that you measured.  Athletic and toned does not mean you built up your beer belly while watching football and hockey and I am not naïve I know the touque you are wearing in your profile picture is to hide that you are lacking in the hair department.

I think online dating is like buying that surprise bag at the drug store. You pay $9.95 for a brown paper bag filled with a promised $150 worth of product. You buy it because you are curious about the contents and you are hopeful that you will have the one bag that filled with the hottest products on the market. When you get to the car you open it up because you can’t wait and you find it filled with last year’s fad’s and items nearing or past it expiry date.  The sad thing is that I have bought more than one of these bags more than once in my life. I guess it is just like people who go back and peruse the online dating sites after every bad experience or less than ideal coffee date always hoping that there is something better and more exciting out there.

I know that some people do find true love on these sites. One of my best friends found her boyfriend on a dating site however she went on many a bad date before she found a keeper.  I had a few laugh until I peed moments listening to her stories like the one of the guy who brought her a bottle of wine to a coffee date at Starbucks and told her all about life living at home with mom. She had one fellow email her within seconds of their date telling her how she was his soul mate and how he could see them spending the rest of their lives together. RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!

I think the reason that my friend was lucky in love on a dating site was that both her and her now boyfriend, were completely honest in their profiles. They did not try to make themselves out to be something they aren’t. I think finding your perfect match is like winning the lottery. You keep buying tickets and hope and pray that you win but only have a one in a billion chance of being successful.  I honestly don’t think that anyone will ever meet the “perfect” mate. I once had a friend’s mom tell me that when choosing a life partner that you just had to find a set of faults you could live with. I think she was completely bang on with that.  The one thing I do know for sure is that when I do throw my hat back in to the dating ring that there is no ballawax in my future.

My Passion

3 07 2012

I was sitting in my vehicle tonight while my son and his lacrosse team were practicing in a major downpour. I was feeling bad for them having to endure the cold and the rain and was hoping in all honestly that the coach would call practice early.   I was thinking that they would be cold and miserable at the end of practice in wet gear that would have to be dried in time for their first playoff game tomorrow night.

As I expected the practice went right until it was scheduled to end but I was taken back at the demeanor of all of the players. They were laughing and joking around with each other. Not one of the kids said they were cold or complained that they were soaked all the way through their gear to their skin. They were talking about things they had done in practice and discussing what players to be on the watch for at tomorrow’s game. I realized at that moment that they did not care about the rain or the cold. They were happy to be there because they were with their friends playing a sport that they all loved. They are passionate about the game so it didn’t matter what the weather was like they just wanted to play.

I feel the same way about certain things in my life. For instance I am extremely passionate about chocolate. My best friend Michele and I were in Bellingham this past weekend and we were hitting up all of our regular stores to pick up some cheap groceries and items that we don’t yet have in Canada. We were at a Walmart that we had never been to before and on the way out I took a different exit and ended up going the wrong way down the road. I turned at the next light so I could get us travelling in the right direction again when Michele yelled (and I don’t mean spoke loudly) yelled “Belgian Chocolate Tasting”. She caught me off guard but I yelled back” I’m turning around” I am not sure I even looked to see if anyone was coming. All I heard was chocolate and free and knew it was in the opposite direction.

Michele’s head stayed facing the direction of the sign. I am not sure how she did it but I swear it’s true. When we got back to the corner we saw the sign but all that was on the corner was a Christian Evangelical Church. I asked her if she thought that was how they recruited new members and if she thought we would come out born again christians.  She wasn’t sure and for a moment we both thought that it was some creative marketing on behalf of the church.  I did know for sure that we were both praying that wherever this place was (and we were determined to find it) that it was open.

We drove into an industrial area and there we spotted a commercial door that said “Chocolate Necessities. What a perfect name for a chocolate shop. I know that for me there are times when chocolate is definitely a necessity and without going into why that day was one of them!!

 We quickly parked the car and headed in. We were barely through the door when I heard Michele asked the young girl working there about the free tasting. Patience is definitely not one of my bff’s strong points when it comes to chocolate, or popcorn or…. let’s just say she is not known for her patience.

 The clerk was more than accommodating and taught us so much about all of the different types of chocolate. We were fortunate to have arrived on a day where Kevin the chocolatier was on site to fill in the blanks for us.  I had always thought that there were 3 different types, white, milk and dark but there are many more. My new favourite chocolate is one called Vanuatu which is a mixture of both light and dark which is perfect for those of you that love milk but would like to make the move towards dark because it is healthier for you.

I think I was probably one of their best sales of the day because I purchased a couple bars of each type to hide away in my freezer for when a chocolate emergency hits and they do hit me quite often since my recent separation (which is why my regular workout routine starts again tomorrow). I wonder if the rate of chocolate consumption goes up as the divorce rate climbs?  I’ll have to google that!!

Michele and I both walked out of there very happy women! We were both very satisfied and neither of us were leaving the states belonging to a new religion.

If you are ever in the Bellingham area please pop by Chocolate Necessities at 4600 Guide Meridian or visit them online at

Oh Canada

1 07 2012

Oh Canada.

Oh Canada

1 07 2012

I was thinking about what I could write for a Canada Day blog while having my shower this morning. I decided after much pondering that I would write about the most patriotic person I know. I am not sure that this person even realizes how patriotic he is but I have known him his entire life and have seen the patriotism evolve.

He was born in 1971 in Ottawa our Countries Capital City to a member of the Canadian Military and his wife so he was off to a good start to being a true patriot. My first experience of his patriotism was when I was in kindergarten and he was still a little rascal trying to chew his way out of his crib (not kidding he actually chewed his way through his crib like the “Canadian beaver”). Every night before he went to sleep he would ask me to sing to him Oh Canada. is His exact words and I still remember them to this day was “Oh Cadada Cher, Oh Cadada. I would belt out my rendition of Oh Canada as I remembered it from my sessions at kindergarten and he loved every single off key second of it. It was his favourite song until some unpatriotic sole introduced “The wheels on the bus” to him at about age 3- thanks mom.

Thank you to our Canadian constitution for allowing free speech because he is able to express his ever so harsh opinions at times to people who would much rather not hear them and not end up in a Canadian jail.

His favourite sport is hockey (it is not Canada’s national sport but should be) which he played until a heart condition forced him to stop playing competively for safety reasons. His favourite player and idol is Wayne Gretzky of whom he had the pleasure of finally meeting last month at the David Foster (another famous Canadian) Foundations 25th Anniversary Celebration.

Anyone who knows him knows without a doubt that his favourite team is the Montreal Canadiens. It could be from the HABS ball cap he wears, to the memorabilia that adorns his office or could be because of the HABS logo he shoveled into the snow on his neighbour’s ( not a HABS fan) front lawn this past winter.

He played basketball in junior high winning a provincial championship in a game that was created by a Canadian James Naismith and loves to rub it in to friend and fellow Canadian Steve Nash that he may play in the NBA but he does not have a BC Championship ring like he does.

Once in his 20’s he was randomly attacked coming out of one of the local night clubs in downtown Victoria and was able to save himself a severe beating by two young men as a result of the moves he learned from all those years watching the Hart family (Canadian Icons) and WWE Wrestling.

He and his girlfriend have two beautiful daughters one named Mackenzie ( hmmm we had a Prime Minister named Sir Alexander Mackenzie 1764-1820) and one named Dawson who I am sure was named after Dawson City up in the Yukon and not because her mom had a wicked crush on Dawson from the show “ Dawson’s Creek as it is rumoured.

He not only drinks Molson Canadian beer (it has been responsible for the beer belly he has gained and lost numerous times of the years) but he works for them as a sales rep. How much more Canadian can you get.

Every Canada Day long weekend he celebrates by getting together with old friends up at the lake where they have a lobster boil after a game of golf. On the way up to the lake he is sure to stop at Tim Horton’s for a steeped tea because he chooses Tim Horton’s over Starbucks

This weekend everyone will wait in anticipation of the Canada Day outfit and antics he has planned.

This Canada I celebrate being Canadian and my brother, Brent Dobbie, the most patriotic person I know.