Lessons

12 04 2016

5-West-Shore-RCMP-Death-2-e1459902200528My community is in mourning today. Today is the service for Officer Sarah Beckett a member of the West Shore RCMP who lost her life as a result of a horrific car crash last week. Everyone I have run into since the tragedy has been talking about the crash- everything from speculation on how it happened to wondering how her fellow RCMP Officers and husband and young children are holding up. There have been walks and Go Fund Me Pages set up. Businesses are holding bbq’s and fundraisers and the community has been coming out in droves to leave flowers at the crash site and by the bronze statue that ironically Office Beckett was the model for.

 

Yesterday as I was sitting at a red light by the West Shore RCMP Station I saw what I believed to be a teacher walk away from the statue with his class and I watched as he had them sit on the grass. I wondered what he was planning on saying to his class. I know what I would say. I would say that we should be grateful for all of the first responders who chose a career that involves potentially sacrificing their lives to protect ours. Paramedics, Fire Fighters, RCMP and Police Officers put their lives on the line every single day they go to work. It is a career of unexpected happenings as each day is filled with different calls and situations.

 

I hope that teacher was telling his class to be respectful of the officers that protect us. I hear all the time people complain when they receive a speeding ticket or how it inconvenient to be stopped at a roadblock. That speeding ticket could have saved your life or that roadblock most likely took someone off the road who should have called a cab.

 

I hope that teacher was speaking to his class about choices. When you make the choice to speed, text while driving or drive while under the influence of alcohol or other substances you are putting not only your life but  others lives at risk. I hope that  everyone has learned something as a result of the tragic death of Officer Beckett. She lost her life protecting my community and I will be forever grateful to her for that.

 





Happy Champagne Birthday!!

17 03 2016

Yesterday I looked over at the young man sitting beside me. He was in the drivers seat chatting away to me as we drove to an appointment. It was hard to pay attention to what he was saying because my head was filled with thoughts. Thoughts about how his voice has deepened, how he has his dad’s eyes and my families facial features. I couldn’t help thinking about how much he has grown in the past year and how he isn’t afraid to give me a hug or a smooch on the cheek in public still.

 

 It is amazing to me really that he still is an active participant when I plan crazy stunts. Just a few months ago on a rainy day I pulled out two semi automatic nerf guns that I had bought and hidden away. I tossed him a gun and a bag of ammunition and shouted “Game On”. We had an epic nerf gunfight that lasted over an hour and ended with me surrendering because I was too tired to continue.  I never want those days to end. The reality of it is that they will end. I will always be his mom and him my son but he will one day very soon go away to college and eventually move out permanently. I am not ready for that and time is moving way to quickly for me.  

 

Life isn’t moving too quickly for my boy. Life is exciting right now and filled with a lot of firsts. First time being able to drive a car which quickly turned into being able to drive himself to appointments and activities including practices (which I am not in the slightest upset about).  He has his first job so his reliance on me is dwindling and I am having a bit of a hard time with that. Really, isn’t this what we want when we raise a child? Don’t we want them to grow up to be able to be strong and function as competent adults? Isn’t that our goal?  We teach them everything we feel that they need to know for when they are out on their own and when we send them off into the world to use the tools that we have given them and hope they use them wisely.

 

It is hard to believe that 17 years ago yesterday I was strolling along in the brand new Costco with my dad when all of a sudden in the camping aisle while looking at the double fold up camping chairs my very pregnant body decided that this was the time to go into labour.  I am not sure who was more alarmed by this my dad or I. You see, my dad had been anticipating this day for months. He knew that there was a good chance that he would be driving me to the hospital as my ex husband had a very active career and so dad was my back up plan. My dad had mapped out and timed exactly how long it would take him to get from his condo and any other place that he visited regularly) to my house and to the hospital in morning, afternoon rush hour and evening traffic. Going into labour in Costco had screwed that all up and so after labouring for a short time in the display chair we headed to the check out with our cart full of goods (including a chair) and headed to my house to pick up my bag and head to the hospital. 

My dad had even investigated where to drop me off and where the best parking was. He made my delivery to the hospital seamless. I think my dad was very happy to be relieved a couple hours later by my ex-husband.

Without telling the whole story of my labour (which was painful, endless and resulted up in a C-section) at just after 6am the following day I met my amazing son for the very first time. I was in awe of him then and I am still in awe of him today.

I am so proud of the young man he is and I am excited and looking forward to seeing all that he accomplishes in life.  Happy Champagne Birthday* Bub!!!

 

 

*Champagne Birthday is when your age is the same as the day of the month you were born on. Example your 17th birthday on the 17th.

 

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Remembrance Day 2015

10 11 2015

Tomorrow is Remembrance Day and I hope that you are planning something that will truly allow you to reflect upon and honour the service men and women who have served and continue to serve our country. I am the daughter of an amazing man who served in with The United Nations and the Canadian Air Force for almost his entire working career. He enlisted at 18 and served in France and Egypt and the United States before doing the milk run across Canada with is family in tow from one military base to another. Serving in the military is not a glamorous career by any means. You have to want to serve your country. I have heard people say that they think it would be great to travel and see the world but what they don’t understand is that the men and women who serve are not staying in five star hotels and visiting in a tourist role. They are in danger all the time they are abroad and live in cramped quarters while being away from their loved ones for weeks, months and some over a year at a time. That is incredible dedication to our country and tomorrow should be a day to reflect and to say thank you.

I had a conversation with my son this morning on the way to school about war and what the conditions were like during the world wars and the current wars happening today. I think it is hard for youth to imagine that soldiers slept in tents and that medics often had to care for the injured in areas where fighting was ongoing and supplies were limited not to forget that thousands of men and women lost their lives. Families suffer from the loss of their son, daughter, mother, father, aunt, uncle or sibling and returning servicemen and women suffer as well with physical injuries and mental health issues as a result of being in wartime situations. Organizations like the Wounded Warrior Fund are trying hard to educate us on just what returning servicemen go through as well as supporting the needs of those who have fought for our freedoms.

Kudos to the businesses who are offering free services to our protectors tomorrow to say thank- you. Please consider making a donation to the Wounded Warriors Fund if you can or simply thank a veteran or someone serving now for their service. It would be a much different Canada without them.

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National Cancer Survivor Day

7 06 2015

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Today is National Cancer Survivor Day! I can’t imagine the battle you have to endure to beat such a formidable foe. Cancer is the battle between good and evil and it takes evil to beat it. I can’t imagine being diagnosed with cancer. I can’t even predict how I would react if I were ever to be diagnosed with it. I do know that it means that ones life is forever changed from the time they are diagnosed. Life becomes filled with doctor’s appointments and trips to the cancer clinic for treatment. Your daily vitamin is no longer the only med you have to remember to take. If you didn’t remember to take your vitamin it was no big deal but it is a big deal to take your meds when you have cancer. Every little pill and treatment is part of a battle for your life. Your LIFE!! The thought of fighting for my life terrifies me and yet there are thousands of people who are fighting with all of their might to stay alive. They fight and they endure treatment with horrific side effects because they want to be around to see another sunrise, to watch their children grow up or simply because they aren’t ready to stop living. They fight and they fight to stay alive and they value every minute of every day. Then there are those that are perfectly healthy that take life for granted. They waste their time being angry with people, getting caught up in drama, playing video games or working so hard they don’t have any time to enjoy their life. Why does it take a life threatening disease to make people realize just how precious life is? Are you waiting until the kids are gone or until you retire to start doing the things you have always wanted to experience in your life? Why? Why not start now? You don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t want any regrets in my life. I don’t want to miss out on any of the experiences on my list of things I want to accomplish on this earth. I am going to go after what I want and live life like it is precious, which it is. To those of you who have survived cancer I take my hat off to you. I have seen first hand what treatment does to a person and yet you endure it over and over again. Not everyone is able to win the battle through no fault of their own but the fight for life is worth it. Live life before you have to fight to keep it!!N





National Brothers Day

24 05 2015

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When I looked up the definition for “brother” the most appropriate definition to describe my brother was “an exclamation to express annoyance or surprise”. From the moment my brother was born he was full of surprises. I remember being truly surprised when first “viewing” our new family member because he was so little. I was super annoyed that my parents had completely mislead me into believing that I was going to have a new little brother to play with. Seriously this little bundle of joy that everyone was raving about had no hair (none that we could see as he was so fair), no teeth, couldn’t talk or walk so really I didn’t see how he was going to enhance my life in any way. But my brother has this uncanny way of sucking you in and very quickly my world revolved around him. I had to be involved in every part of his care taking. He was born with congenital heart defects and would cry for hours every single night. I remember walking for what seemed like endless hours back and forth through the kitchen as movement seemed to keep him content. It was such a regular routine that we even made up a song to sing to him ….are a walkin’ through the kitchen so dear old “Brent” won’t cry.

I am not sure if it was jealousy at all of the attention he received from being a baby or from the extra love he seemed to get from my mom but I remember being really annoyed with him one day. I figured if he didn’t have any clothes they would have to get rid of him and so I tried to sell his clothing out my bedroom window for a nickel or a dime per piece. That very well could have been the beginning of my entrepreneurial spirit as I apparently charged people to see and hold him as well.

As my little brother grew older it was apparent that he was going to need open-heart surgery. He would turn blue just from walking up the stairs from our basement and had trouble keeping up with myself, and the kids in our neighbourhood when we were running outside due to the lack of oxygen he was receiving as a result of the hole in his heart. The day of his surgery came (5 years old) and I was sent to school as if it was a regular day. I remember my 5th grade teacher Mr. Beynon teaching a math lesson but all that was running through my mind was what was happening at the hospital. When the school secretary brought me the message that the surgery had been a huge success I was not surprised. My little brother was the strongest and most determined kid I had ever met and nothing was going to stop him from throwing on a pair of skates and playing hockey. My parents did not want Brent to play. It was actually recommended that he didn’t. Yes his heart had been repaired but it would never be as strong had he been born with out a heart defect. Brent annoyed my parents with his constant requests to play hockey and surprised my parents by saying that he would rather die being happy and playing hockey than not and being sad (remember he is 5 years old). That statement was a game changer as next thing I knew we were a hockey family. Not only did Brent play hockey but also he became a force to be reckoned with. He stopped at nothing to get that puck and although it was annoying to have to go and watch him at some ungodly hours at an outdoor rink in Winnipeg I could not have been more proud of his determination and tenacity. Brent’s play hard philosophy did earn him several trips to the emergency room. He was hit by a car and spent a month and a half in traction in the hospital. There were multiple trips to the emergency room for stitches and broken bones. I remember him spending a day riding around on his bike with a broken arm because he knew my mom would be more than annoyed when she had to make yet another trip to the hospital because he had been going off jumps on his bike which she had specifically asked him not to do. I think he was annoyed to have his arm in a cast but the second it was off he was riding his skateboard down a neighbours roof and flying down onto a ramp he had put against a car he had picked up for $50.

It was in his teen years that the caught off guard surprises started happening. Brent was full out annoying now. He was into the full mode of drive his sister crazy. You can imagine the horror and surprise I felt when I looked out my bedroom window to see the neighbourhood kids all gathered around him when I came to the realization that he was reading them excerpts from my diary that had not only been locked but also hidden in my room. He had become the neighbourhood comedian and jokester.

Everyone thought he was sooooo funny. They didn’t have to live with him. The worst practical joke he ever played on me was shortly after I had finally gained permission to have my own phone with my own private number in my room. It was exciting to hear it ring knowing that it was “my” personal phone. I would run down to the end of the hallway where my room was, open the door and run in and jump on my bed and answer my phone. The day of the incident I heard my phone ring and true to form I ran down to my room, flung open my door and I was mid air when I saw that this was not going to be an ordinary landing. My dear little brother had covered my bed in anything he could find that was slippery from the fridge. My bed was covered in mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, salad dressing (come on picture it in your head) and much more. I landed on my bed and slid hard and fast into my wall at the end of my bed. All I could hear was laughter coming from down that hall. Thank goodness cell phones and social media was not around to capture the images.

As he grew up there were more and more practical jokes. At my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary Brent added “coholic” to my Uncle Al’s nametag and he could not figure out why people were giggling at him all night long. When working with the Salsa hockey team he had the Zamboni driver completely surround sports journalist Cleve Dheeshaw’s car with very high piles of snow and he left a red Dairy Queen Spoon under his windshield with a note that said, “ Have fun digging out”.

I think the biggest surprise for me was when my brother and his girlfriend announced that they were having a child. I could not imagine anyone wanting to spend their life with him (he always keeps it interesting) let alone have a child. When my dad called to let me know that Brent and Terra had had a beautiful baby girl I was in complete and utter shock. A “girl”?? Was that even possible? I had assumed that my very manly, athletic, good time loving brother would only be capable of producing boys. Once again he surprised me by not only having a girl but by becoming a dad that makes me proud. He now has two girls (go figure) and he is still the manly, athletic, good time loving guy but he is also an incredible dad. I am grateful that Terra has to deal with most of the surprises and annoyances now (she is a saint) but I still keep an eye over my shoulder because you never know what he will be up to next.





International Women’s Day-Celebrating the Men in our Lives

8 03 2015

thank-you-guysToday is International Women’s Day. I find it interesting that we need a separate day to celebrate women. There clearly isn’t an International Men’s Day. We have “Mother’s Day” and Father’s Day” so why not a day to celebrate men? I am all for celebrating women and all of the strides that have been taken to allow women to vote, hold office become presidents of major organizations and heads of companies. It is hard for some men to accept women in power roles or when they are acknowledged for accomplishments. I experienced it myself when an ex partner of mine did not want to come to a ceremony where I was being awarded an award for my contributions to my community. He admitted later that he was jealous but this was coming from a man who received awards every single year for his career accomplishments. This is I am sure one of the main reasons that we did not work as a couple. He did not have the ability to be proud and supportive of his partner’s accomplishments.

Today is International Women’s Day and I think we should celebrate women. I am all for it but I am also going to celebrate the men who are man enough to put their ego’s aside, celebrate and support their partners or female friends accomplishments. These are the men who get excited about a new idea their partner might have and brainstorm with them on how to make it better. They are the men who are proud and boast about their female friend or partner’s accomplishments. I have a few men like this in my life. One is my dad who does not fit into the partner category but is a friend and my biggest supporter. My bff Dave, is always there to just listen and offer advice when asked. He picks me up when I am down and encourages me every step of the way!! My business partners husband James who is a huge supporter of everything we do. I thank him for putting up with our zaniness and for not having us committed when I know he is clearly thinking that we belong in the loony bin as a result of some of our ideas. Last but not least our son’s who clearly are embarrassed by us at times but wear our latest creations with pride and tell us that they are proud of us. We honestly could not do what we do without the male support in our lives. So today while I celebrate all of the women in my life I will remember and thank all of the men who allow me to lean on them and encourage me to go out there and “knock em dead”.





My One Year Anniversary of Eliminating Diet Pop From My Life

16 02 2015

diet cola

For those of you who know me well, you know that diet pop was a huge part of my life. I drank it at home, in my car and at least 3 glasses when out in a restaurant. I drank diet pop instead of milk, juice or water. I started to notice after years of being a pop junkie that I was not feeling well. My stomach would actually burn after I drank one. I know it is not a good idea to drink pop on an empty stomach but it was my go to product. I always seem to have a million things I am working on so when it came to meal prep for myself (i.e. lunch when the kids are not home) I would just crack open a pop and that would take away the hunger pains. It got to a point where I was drinking 6-7 cans a day, which was ridiculous. One year ago today I made a conscious choice to remove all sources of pop from my life and concentrate on healthier choices. It was a huge struggle at first. I had bad headaches most likely from the caffeine withdrawal. I craved the fizziness and the bubbles. There was nothing better to me than the first couple sips from a very cold diet pop. I received huge satisfaction from it. It was about a week in that I was about to give in to my craving. I snuck a can of pop into my bedroom (I had told my kids to help keep me on track) and cracked it open when I heard from the down the hall “ Don’t do it mom, you will regret it”. It was my son doing exactly what I had asked him to do-keep me on track. He immediately came into my room and removed the can of pop so I would not have any temptation to take a sip. I am glad that he did that because today it is exactly one year since I have had a pop. I am very grateful that I made that decision. I feel much better having eliminated it from my diet. I still have to work on making healthier choices and resisting brownies when my good friend and business partner offers them to me but it is a work in progress that I am committed to. There is one thing that baffles me though. How is it that my son can hear me crack open a pop can from the other end of the hall but can’t hear me when I call him to clean up his mess in the kitchen?





The 2015 Wounded Warrior Run

31 01 2015

fallen soldier

The 2015 *Wounded Warriors Run media launch was held today in the Showroom of major sponsor Saunders Subaru. When I  arrived I expected to see a small gathering of people and some local media, gathering information on this years run. Was I ever wrong. The bright and shiny latest and greatest Subaru’s had been replaced by an army field ambulance and another military vehicle. Members of the Langford Legion were dressed in uniform, standing at attention and forming a pathway for this year’s runners to run through when they were introduced. Saanich South MLA Lana Popham ,many members of the military community dressed in camouflage, sponsors, several media outlets, event co coordinators and members of the general public joined the Saunders family in kick starting this important campaign.

What really grabbed my attention was a painting on display. It was created by Sparky of Urge Tattoo’s and depicts a soldier carrying an injured soldier over his shoulder. You can clearly see that the soldier being carried is injured but it is the invisible injury the rescuing soldier is suffering that the The Wounded Warriors Run is all about.

The Emcee 100.3- Q 100’s Cliff LesQuesne reminded us that while everyone is running away from a crime, disaster or trying to escape the fighting in Iraq it is our police officers, first responders and soldiers that are heading directly into the danger. Years ago it was believed that it was a sign of weakness to be impacted by the experiences you had , the tragedies witnessed and the images that remained vividly in your head. You were not encouraged to speak out and people would suffer from Post –Traumatic Stress Disorder in silence. A gentleman that I met at the event shared with me that his brother had suffered from PSTD, did not seek help and as a result drank himself to death. The Goal of the Wounded Warriors run is to draw attention to PSTD and create an environment where it okay to talk about it so we do not have to deal with a tragedy caused by an untreated case of PSTD.

Serious Coffee’s 24 café’s on the island are sponsoring this event and Jeanette Humphries who is charge of events for Serious Coffee spoke about the importance of being pro active with PSTD so that no one has to fall through the gap anymore.You can donate to this event and the Wounded Warrior Fund at the Serious Coffee in your neighborhood,

Chris Linford the National Ambassador for the Wounded Warriors shared with the crowd that he has had PSTD for 20 years and as a result of seeking support for his invisible injury through programs run through the Canadian Health Services and C.O.P.E which involves the spouse of the person suffering from PSTD that he is a survivor and his relationship with his wife is intact. Last years run caused a spark in the community but this years run is creating a blazing fire.

Starting on Sunday February 15th Six Runners will run a relay the length of Vancouver Island. They will cover 100 km per day starting in Port Hardy and finish in Colwood at Saunders Subaru on February 20th. Please give generously to the runners as they collect donations on their way down the island. It is important that we as a community help take care of the people that every single day put their lives on the line to take care of us.

You can donate online at http://www.woundedwarriors .ca

*Wounded Warriors Canada is a non-profit organization that helps Canadian Armed Forces members – be they regular force or reservists – who have been wounded or injured in their service to Canada.

Through a wide range of programs and services, we help find solutions where gaps have left our veterans and their families in need. Currently, our primary focus is on mental health and, particularly, the staggering impact of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, perpetrated by Operational Stress Injuries.

Overall, however, our mandate is to help any Veteran in need as they transition to civilian life.

If you are feeling like a new or even your first tattoo contact Urge Tattoo’s www.urgetatoos.com to find out more information about their tattoo fundraiser on Sunday February the 8th where you can get yourself a tattoo for a minimum $60 suggested donation. Participants will also be on location that day so please go down and say hello.





Let’s Talk

28 01 2015

A very important message

Kristy Wolfe Photography

20         The number of days that have passed since my dad, a 58 year old cardiologist, went missing.

17          The number of days that have passed since my dad’s car was found.

16          The number of days that have passed since my dad was found.

10          The number of days that have passed since we celebrated my dad’s life.

0122-003 Dad’s favourite view from the deck of our house on Cowichan Lake.

Tomorrow, January 28th, is Bell’s annual Let’s Talk Day. You’ve probably seen or heard some of the commercials that have been running recently. The one that really hit home has two guys at work talking about another colleague who has anxiety. Click here to view the video on YouTube.

Below is an excerpt from the speech I gave at my dad’s memorial. I’m…

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The End of a Friendship

18 01 2015

I have come to a point in my life where I have decided to clean house on unhealthy relationships. I have ended several since I left my husband almost four years ago but many of those were people who took sides after they had promised that they wouldn’t. People have good intentions I think but in the end people do choose.

Today I have decided to end my longest running friendship. We all have one. It is usually someone we met as a child that we have stayed in touch with over the years. You may grow apart but once in awhile you reconnect and it feels it always has and it is comforting. Or that is how it is supposed to be. This friendship is not that way. It is always a constant battle. Whenever I would get excited about a change I decided to make in my life this so called friend would always point out all of the negative reasons why the change isn’t good for me. Always negative thoughts. The worst-case scenario always spills out until the reasons why not to do something have drowned all of the why to’s. They are constantly holding me back from exploring new challenges of options for me to progress in my life and career.

When I feel that I, or someone has been wronged and decide to speak up about it or stick up from someone my friend tells me to keep my mouth shut and who am I to think that what I have to say would make a difference. Who is going to take you seriously??

It is the friend who when we are at a restaurant tells me not to tell the waiter that I have received the wrong drink or that the chef prepared my steak well done instead of rare because I will embarrass them. So I drink my beverage and eat my meal even though it is not what I want to keep my friend from feeling uncomfortable.

I am sure you have been out driving in a car with someone on a sunny day, windows rolled down and a song comes on the radio that not only you love but you know all the words. You open your mouth and start to sing at the top of your lungs. I love that! I love to sing but when I am in public with my good old pal I am quickly cut off. “ OMG be quiet”! “ I am pretty sure you have the words wrong”, or “don’t, people will look at us”!

I write many blog entries that are never posted. Several times I have written about topics that really mean a lot to me so my thoughts easily spill out onto the page. I find myself so excited about an idea or an opinion that I write for hours and ignore everything going on around me until it is finished. I feel like I could win an award for my brilliant entry and can’t wait to log into my blog to post it. Then something stops me and I have it read over by my friend. My hopes of an award are dashed when I hear the critique. “No one cares about this topic”. “People don’t want to read about this!” “I think this might be a run on sentence” or I am not sure this is the proper use of this word” I still save the entry on my laptop in case I decide to re read it again one day but it will never be read as an entry on my blog.

I am tired of clothes shopping with this person. You are supposed to have fun when you shop with a friend. It is okay and common practice to tell your shopping partner that a particular item they have tried on is not the best choice of cut or that the colour isn’t the best for their skin tone. No one is offended by those helpful comments. But to be constantly told things like “ wow you certainly cant pull off that outfit with your lack of height” or “you would really have to hit the gym a lot if you ever have a hope of making that sit the way it should on your body”. It is bad enough that they are constantly telling me that I need to lose a few pounds here or get back doing my regular exercise routine because they have noticed it hard to see my abs lately or that my butt looks squishy. I just love the comment “ you probably shouldn’t weigh yourself today I am pretty sure you are up a pound or two”. “ If I were you I’d eat lightly today or not at all and weigh yourself tomorrow”.

When I do exercise I push my self as hard as I can that day or during a particular exercise. A couple of weeks ago I was out going up a set of stairs (almost 300 stairs) that I climb up and down to work on both my muscle tone and cardio. It was my first time back in a several months and I could not do as many as I had done previously when I had been partaking in this activity five days a week. Instead of being proud that I was making an effort to get back into shape and where I wanted to be I was made to feel that I had failed because I should have pushed myself harder and not given up when I did. “Why did you stop when I did”?? “Why didn’t you push that little bit harder”? “You probably could have done one more set if you had actually tried”. That is so infuriating!! I was trying. I honestly could not make my legs climb one more stair. I was doing my absolute best but once again it was not good enough.

We all have those days where we have been running from one activity to another, doing errands, working, dropping off the kids and picking them up at school and you arrive home to realize that you have forgotten to take out something for dinner. You don’t have time to defrost anything or prepare a fabulous meal before you have to run out the door to practice so you cut up some raw vegetables, open a can of soup and make a few grilled cheese sandwiches. The kids are happy. They have been fed. It was something they liked and everyone who needed to be out the door was out on time. This does happen to me from time to time and at first I am thrilled that it all worked out. Then I make a mistake and hear….. “ that isn’t a well balanced meal”. Do you know how much sodium is in canned soup”? “ I though you were going gluten free”? All of a sudden I feel like social services are going to be at my door and that the Mothers Day card that I had received the year before where my kids had written that I was the best mom ever was a total lie and I should return it to them.

I am single and from time to time I am asked out on a date. I think about it and if it is someone I would like to get to know I consider saying yes. Every girl tells their friend if they were asked out on a date. Your friend usually wants to hear every detail about the potential date and is excited for you. They want to help you choose an outfit and talk about how to do your make up and hair so you make that perfect impression. Not my friend. No way, all I hear is “Really”? “ He asked you out” Does he know you have two kids and that you are really busy”? “Do you think he thinks you have money because of who your ex husband is”? “You are so picky”. “What if you order a burger and ask for it without vegetables will he think you are weird for not liking and raw fruit of vegetables”? After all this I say no and miss out on what may have been a great opportunity for at least a new friendship.

For all these reasons I have decided that this friend has to be removed off of my friends list and replaced with someone more positive. Someone who will say, you look great today or I am proud of you for running those stairs. Good job, way to go, keep it up. It will be hard because this friend has been my closest friend since the day I was born. It is hard to get rid of someone who has always been there but I have to because I am soooooo sick of the negative “ME”. I am my own worst best friend because I am constantly holding myself back and putting negative thoughts into my head. No one is holding me back from anything but myself and it ends today. Watch out world, I will be speaking my mind, taking chances with my business, praising my self for jobs well done and making sure my steak is always served to me rare!!