Internet Dating

8 07 2012

I could not sleep last night so I was looking at my email and decided to peruse some of the online dating sites that send me umpteen messages a day promising me a perfect match to see what men looking for love actually said about themselves.

 Seriously guys, if I were looking for a date I certainly would not be sending an email or a wink” to the shirtless overweight guy who took his picture with his phone via his bathroom mirror and who posted his online name as “ islandbambam” , ballawax or Fluffyguy. The thoughts that went through my mind while reading those names made me cringe.

 I was shocked at how many of the opposite sex posted pictures of themselves in costumes. If I were looking for a mate (and I’m not so don’t try setting me up with all of your bachelor friends) I would want to know about the person not what they look like as a character from Planet of the Apes or Scooby Doo. It had me imagining them on a coffee date with someone who decided to give them a chance ordering banana’s or Scooby snacks. I laughed out loud at grandpa who was trying to tell the online dating world that he was 48 when it was obvious that he was in his 70’s.

Tell the truth please. If you are 5’9 say you are 5’9 and not 6 feet and not justify it by saying you were wearing lifts the day that you measured.  Athletic and toned does not mean you built up your beer belly while watching football and hockey and I am not naïve I know the touque you are wearing in your profile picture is to hide that you are lacking in the hair department.

I think online dating is like buying that surprise bag at the drug store. You pay $9.95 for a brown paper bag filled with a promised $150 worth of product. You buy it because you are curious about the contents and you are hopeful that you will have the one bag that filled with the hottest products on the market. When you get to the car you open it up because you can’t wait and you find it filled with last year’s fad’s and items nearing or past it expiry date.  The sad thing is that I have bought more than one of these bags more than once in my life. I guess it is just like people who go back and peruse the online dating sites after every bad experience or less than ideal coffee date always hoping that there is something better and more exciting out there.

I know that some people do find true love on these sites. One of my best friends found her boyfriend on a dating site however she went on many a bad date before she found a keeper.  I had a few laugh until I peed moments listening to her stories like the one of the guy who brought her a bottle of wine to a coffee date at Starbucks and told her all about life living at home with mom. She had one fellow email her within seconds of their date telling her how she was his soul mate and how he could see them spending the rest of their lives together. RED FLAG RED FLAG!!!

I think the reason that my friend was lucky in love on a dating site was that both her and her now boyfriend, were completely honest in their profiles. They did not try to make themselves out to be something they aren’t. I think finding your perfect match is like winning the lottery. You keep buying tickets and hope and pray that you win but only have a one in a billion chance of being successful.  I honestly don’t think that anyone will ever meet the “perfect” mate. I once had a friend’s mom tell me that when choosing a life partner that you just had to find a set of faults you could live with. I think she was completely bang on with that.  The one thing I do know for sure is that when I do throw my hat back in to the dating ring that there is no ballawax in my future.


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3 responses

9 07 2012
Christine

Oh Cheryl… You hit it bang on! Love the analogy of the goodie bag… Too funny. The up side of the online dating is the funny stories we get to share! My best was the guy who was askin me to contact him, and tried numerous times… Thank god I never did (just had a bad gut feeling) I saw him on the 5:00 news…. He was arrested for harassing women on the website!!!

9 07 2012
Laura Savage

So true. If we didn’t laugh we’d go crazy. Women keep hoping the date really wasn’t “that” bad, and that we should give them another chance. Nooooo way, follow your instincts, and be honest especially with yourself.

19 07 2012
julia emerson

well there is some humor in the names..because all the good names are gone..so by the time you get one that isn’t being used you end up with hotlegs5896b89b955599..I only know of course from signing my son into a WEbkinz account..you get tired of being creative..or you rise up to the challenge!
its all hit and miss…it would be nice to just trip over MrRight( gorgeous, full head of hair, has a job and doesn’t live with his mother)..on a day you are looking good and free for the afternoon but what are the odds..and he feels bad that you tripped so…you go for lunch!!

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